Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet: Zombie slugs

I could lie and say I’ve been busy since my last post, but I’ve actually just been sitting around in my pyjamas playing Candy Crush. Sometimes I need a break. So, meh.

Anyway, I thought I’d get my shit together this week and get some jobs done. I was up early, all perky and annoying and heavily caffeinated when I came across this news article about zombie slugs taking over the country.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you’ll know that due to my heavy clay soil and mild climate, I am constantly up to the eyeballs in the slimy fuckers and have basically given up trying to grow many of the things they love to eat. This news article is not really news to me; we haven’t had a cold winter for a couple of years and it’s been very wet. Ideal conditions for slugs to thrive.

I have tried various things over the years; slug traps, grit, eggshells, coffee grounds, copper tape, organic slug pellets, nematodes, napalm (OK, that one is a lie); NOTHING WORKS. The only thing that you can do if you are truly overrun is to go out every night with a torch and a bucket of boiling hot soapy water and pick them all up by hand. This way you can also leave the good guys, like leopard slugs which are cannibals.

The best of British luck to you if you’re trying to grow any lupins or hostas this year. I’m not going to bother!

More cheerful update on my allotment tomorrow.


One thought on “Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet: Zombie slugs

  1. Oh man! I am pissed about the critters in my garden. I don’t know which is worse!? You need to invent some organic slug zombie spray… Then you’ll be a pajama wearing, candy crush playing billionaire!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s